"Just around from Janie's corner
there's a bay called Sharkies Cove
never thought twice how it got its name
but i guess i should have known."
- The Shark Song, Goons of Doom
Yesterday the most bizarre thing happened!
I was just hanging out by the river with a few friends, and out of the fog (that appeared in the middle of the day?) came a pastel painted raft, with a bunch of cool looking dudes, playing bikey zomie music!
They sung of yellowy moons and kept screaming for us to save the whales, and among the madness I realised that these were no random river rats…this was the Goons of Doom performing some sort of radical blitz gig!
We gave them a hearty hello as they drifted up to shore, and just as we dared to get close they fired with horizontal fireworks! no mercy was given for any women or children!
Confused and shaken, we scattered to the edges of the clearing, all mothers grasping onto their youth with total terror.
What was the meaning of this flash attack? Was this their dirty scheming plan all along? Lure us in then spit us out?!
Once the panic subsided we all glanced to the river and not a Goon remained in sight.
This is an international global warning for all.
Stay away from the edge of your local river, stream or ocean.
The persian rug painted raft of doom could be upon you.
God save our souls!
p.s this is a true story. lock up your kids.